Episode Transcript
Speaker 1 00:00:01 Happy National Learn to Swim
Speaker 2 00:00:03 Day. I'm Ronnie. I'm Brian. And this is Snorkeling with
Speaker 1 00:00:05 Narwhals. And we actually let him say that now cuz he is a co-host. Stay on snorkeling with narwhals. Since we referenced National Learn to Swim Day, we're going to talk about some of the things that we don't know how to do or aren't very, like well versed
Speaker 2 00:00:22 In. And the reason that we can transition from that to that is because Brian does not know how to
Speaker 1 00:00:27 Swim. I don't, um,
Speaker 2 00:00:29 Can you like, like doggy paddle a little bit? No. Like you get in the pool and you just sink straight to the bottom and just walk across. Well
Speaker 1 00:00:35 See, the, the thing is, most pools I'm in are like hotel pools and they're only like five feet
Speaker 2 00:00:40 Deep. That
Speaker 1 00:00:41 Makes sense. So I'm able to walk for the most part in them or just like, you know, float
Speaker 2 00:00:44 Around. So you can like, stand in like the kitty pool and like splash run you'd want
Speaker 1 00:00:48 Like, okay. The, like if I get to like the five foot mark, then I start to feel a little uncomfortable because I'm like really? I mean, I'm five nine.
Speaker 2 00:00:55 Did you ever like take like a swimming class or anything?
Speaker 1 00:00:57 Nope. Wow. See that's the thing. I just, I never learned how to swim. Like I never did it. I tried a couple times board games, but I never really like, did anything with it. Um, can you, you can swim. I'm
Speaker 2 00:01:09 Guessing. I can swim. I can swim. I'm a good swimmer. See, I mean, I'm no Olympic swimmer, but I can, I mean, every time you've definitely doggy paddle.
Speaker 1 00:01:15 Every time we go to a hotel, I like, well, not anymore cause I've just gotten over it. I'm hoping, I'm just never in a, a situation where I need to swim. So hopefully I'm never on like a cruise ship that goes down <laugh>. Hopefully I'm never on survival.
Speaker 2 00:01:28 Well they have lifeboats for that.
Speaker 1 00:01:29 Well, it didn't work on the Titanic did it?
Speaker 2 00:01:32 No.
Speaker 1 00:01:33 <laugh>.
Speaker 2 00:01:33 Um, well just make
Speaker 1 00:01:34 Sure that I need to learn how to swim, which, if we ever have like a sequel episode to this,
Speaker 2 00:01:39 We'll have like an outdoor episode where we like go to like the beach and we do both of the things that Brian can't do because the other thing,
Speaker 1 00:01:46 I can't ride a bike. Now, there's actually a really fun story behind this one, and I wish we could have him on here. We have a friend named Matt Slippery that is in fact his last name. And one day he found out, him and another friend of ours, Isaiah. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, they found out that I don't know how to ride a bike. And so they decided that I needed to learn. So I was like, I didn't have class at the, at that moment, but I, I was coming up soon and I was just like, all right, I'll just skip it. It's Eric. I think you were in that class by the way. It was one of uh, or like media classes, but you know, you could skip 'em.
Speaker 2 00:02:24 <laugh> don't skip classes. Kids
Speaker 1 00:02:25 Don't skip classes. But times if you do like no, no know
Speaker 2 00:02:29 How to skip because the more times you skip, then when you actually need to skip cuz you're sick, then you can't skip cry. Then you have to go cause you're sick. <laugh>
Speaker 1 00:02:37 Even though you sick. Eric's nodding
Speaker 2 00:02:38 <laugh>. Um, it's true.
Speaker 1 00:02:39 But no. So we decided, we went over to like one of the side like roads. I think it leads some, I don't know where it leads. It might lead to Narnia. I don't know. Um, but cuz I didn't want people to really see me. So we went to a
Speaker 2 00:02:55 Path fall on your face
Speaker 1 00:02:56 Multiple times. That was less like occupied. I d I still never learned. I tried. Um, and it was so funny because I
Speaker 2 00:03:02 Did you fall on your face?
Speaker 1 00:03:03 No, I would stop myself before I fell. Oh, that's unfortunate. But we have like, there's like two 20 somethings trying to teach another 20 something how to ride a bike while like other college kids are walking by. And I just, I gave up on it. So I don't think I'll ever be in a position where like, like life or deaths. You, you prob I should know how to swim in case something happens. I don't think I'll ever be in a position where like, I need to ride a bike. No, I take the bus, which
Speaker 2 00:03:31 It's usually nothing where like
Speaker 1 00:03:32 You're, it's like a life or
Speaker 2 00:03:34 Death unless you're like in like Jurassic Park and all the only PR, transportation you have to get away from the dinosaurs like a bike.
Speaker 1 00:03:40 And if that's the case, you're,
Speaker 2 00:03:42 Or maybe let's, let me make it a little more realistic. Maybe you're in a zoo and there's a lion space.
Speaker 1 00:03:45 All right. That's, well that's still gonna catch
Speaker 2 00:03:47 You on a bike. Yeah. Well cheetah could, but I don't know about lions. How fast are lions?
Speaker 1 00:03:51 I
Speaker 2 00:03:51 Don't know. Well, I guess if you don't know how to bike, you're not gonna go that fast anyway,
Speaker 1 00:03:55 So,
Speaker 2 00:03:55 So if you knew how to bike, maybe
Speaker 1 00:03:56 I would just run and hide <laugh> <laugh>. So anyway, that's what I, those are the, the two big things that I don't know how to do. And I'm not very well versed in them with you. You don't know how to sport. Well, you know how to sports.
Speaker 2 00:04:12 I can do sports. I played, uh, lacrosse and football in high school. I can play sports. Uh, my preference sport is lacrosse, but when it comes to watching sports, I'm not the best. Especially sports I've never played. Yeah. Um, like baseball, I am an American who doesn't really understand much about baseball. And actually, um, let's see, it was last weekend I went with my girlfriend to her younger sister's softball game. And she had to explain to me, um, how a lot of stuff worked because I mean, I understand if strikes and uh, what a foul ball is and things like that, but I didn't understand what an inning was. <laugh>. I thought every time one of the teams went to the in like were not in the outfield was an inning. So,
Speaker 1 00:04:56 So basically you were
Speaker 2 00:04:57 Thinking, I was thinking there was half innings. Right? I thought everything movie right the top. I thought that the top of the first was a first inning and then the bottom of the first was the second inning. All right. And that's how I thought it
Speaker 1 00:05:08 Worked. That's a bit of an issue
Speaker 2 00:05:09 Though. I mean, it kind of makes sense though. If you never explained it every time you, an inning would be every time somebody comes in,
Speaker 1 00:05:15 I know from the outfield know, like to me that's just one of those things that you should know.
Speaker 2 00:05:19 Um,
Speaker 1 00:05:20 Even if you know nothing else about baseball, I thought that innings were pretty like self-explanatory.
Speaker 2 00:05:26 They weren't.
Speaker 1 00:05:27 But I mean like there is stuff about baseball that I like, you know, I don't really like to watch baseball cause I think it's pretty boring. But I do understand its most of it. There are some like infield fly. I'm not
Speaker 2 00:05:38 Really sure I know what that is. It means it goes up in the air and comes down in the infield. I learned that when she
Speaker 1 00:05:43 Told me. But there's also a rule about
Speaker 2 00:05:45 It, right? I'm dating a girl who knows more about sports than I do in some cases.
Speaker 1 00:05:48 I
Speaker 2 00:05:49 Don't know if that's That's okay. It's
Speaker 1 00:05:50 Okay. Yeahs. That's fine. It's fine. And you don't know much. It's a good thing. Do like you don't know anything about fantasy football, which isn't really, I don't know, real sport.
Speaker 2 00:05:56 He's like the fan fantasy football king
Speaker 1 00:05:58 Over here. Or fantasy football. I'm actually, that's probably my brother.
Speaker 2 00:06:01 But I actually don't know what fantasy football is. I am What is fantasy
Speaker 1 00:06:04 Football? Well, first off, I am the two time defending McKay Fantasy Football league champion, which is our family league. Right. Fantasy football. Essentially it's just you, you have, we have like 10 teams in our league and we do a draft where it's like, you know, it's, you go in reverse order of who had the worst records, but then the second round it flips it. So it's like, they call it a snake draft. And what you do is you pick like the skill players, like quarterbacks running backs, receivers, like from any team like who are okay. And they have projections as to who's gonna be the best. And so you build your team and then every week, like in the football season you are, you set your lineup. You have a bench too. So you can swap players out. You set your lineup and based on like, for like the quarterback, how many yards they throw in, like touchdowns, interceptions, you get a total amount of points for them. And so basically what it is, is you go up against someone else in your league and whoever has the most points at the end of the week, like at the end of the games wins. Okay. That's really all it is. Um, and it's one of those things, it's really
Speaker 2 00:07:03 Fun because sounds a lot more complicated when people talk about it.
Speaker 1 00:07:06 It's, it's one of those, it's, it sounds like simple, but then during the season, like your players will get injured for like extended periods of time. So then you have to go look on like the free agents and the waivers, like to see who's available. And during the season a lot of players will, will appear like out of nowhere, like they weren't projected to do anything. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> and someone on their team gets injured and they become like a starter and they like tear it up so you can pick that person up. Okay. And that's a huge advantage sometimes because that's, they could be a huge point score that no one saw coming.
Speaker 2 00:07:37 Now what's the point of playing fantasy football?
Speaker 1 00:07:39 Well a lot of 'em are for money. Um, like you pool, you pool funds and then, but it's just really fun to me. Like I, I think it's really enjoyable cause it's, it's a little stat space but it's not like overwhelming. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And it's just really fun because I'm not a sports person, if you can tell, I don't have the body really to play
Speaker 2 00:07:59 Anything I the other hand do
Speaker 1 00:08:00 For the most part. So, so for me, that's kind of how I, and I love football anyway. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. So it's a way for me to just continue my love for football.
Speaker 2 00:08:09 Football's. Okay. I really did prefer lacrosse though in high school it was a lot more fun.
Speaker 1 00:08:12 Yeah. I like how the, the two sports week decided you don't know are baseball and fantasy football, which isn't even like a sport.
Speaker 2 00:08:18 Well let's see. Um, I understand soccer cuz I played soccer in
Speaker 1 00:08:22 Middle school. Hate soccer. I hate let's sorry to all the soccer lovers. I just can't.
Speaker 2 00:08:26 I understand basketball,
Speaker 1 00:08:28 I'm pretty good at basketball.
Speaker 2 00:08:30 Hockey's fairly similar to hockey
Speaker 1 00:08:31 And some, that's some weird rules that I sometimes get mixed up like
Speaker 2 00:08:35 Off. I know it's not a real sport, but I never understood quidditch.
Speaker 1 00:08:38 That's not even <laugh>. That doesn't count.
Speaker 2 00:08:41 Um, it's mostly baseball.
Speaker 1 00:08:43 Yeah, baseball. Baseball seems to be, I'm trying to think of it's um, curling's kind of fun. I kind of get that.
Speaker 2 00:08:49 I've watched curling makes a lot of sense. So I guess it's just baseball that I don't understand. Yeah.
Speaker 1 00:08:53 And fantasy football. Um, fantasy baseball is the worst
Speaker 2 00:08:56 By the way. You don't else don't understand. It's a thing how people can sit and watch ESPN all day. Guys that just sit and watching ESPN all day. Yeah, me too. Don't get it. I do it all the time.
Speaker 1 00:09:04 <laugh>. I watch radio shows, which sounds weird,
Speaker 2 00:09:06 Right? That's true.
Speaker 1 00:09:08 So I like the personalities. That's that's part of what it is. It's like how they deliver their,
Speaker 2 00:09:12 I was trying to think if there's anything else that I can't do. But when it comes to, when I start to think about it, I mean, you're just great at everything. I'm great at everything. I mean I could do, I could do everything.
Speaker 1 00:09:21 I can do anything.
Speaker 2 00:09:23 I could fly a plane. I almost had my pilot's license. What
Speaker 1 00:09:25 I can't do that.
Speaker 2 00:09:26 Um, I can't edit a video as good as Eric. That's what I can't do.
Speaker 1 00:09:33 I can't either <laugh>, um, for a calm major. It's kind of embarrassing that I couldn't do that. Yeah. I edit audio. Um,
Speaker 2 00:09:41 I'm sure as soon as this episode comes out, my girlfriend's gonna have a long list of things that I'm not good at. But until then, yeah, apparently that's all for now.
Speaker 1 00:09:48 According to his girlfriend, which maybe we can get her on here sometime. He has way more pet peeves
Speaker 2 00:09:53 Than what about way more. But if you guys remember a few episodes ago, episode four, episode four, Brian, we talked about how Brian's bitter and how many pet peeves has. And when my girlfriend saw that episode come out, she specifically wanted me to recognize on the show that I do have a pet peeve, at least one that she could think of. And it's chewed bubble gum. Like, you know that person who like has gum 'em in their mouth but they sit down to eat and they like take it and they stick it on the side of their glass or on the corner of their plate. Hate it. It's if you have bubble gun, it's in your mouth or in the garbage can. It is the most disgusting thing ever,
Speaker 1 00:10:27 I guess. Anyway. And
Speaker 2 00:10:30 If you didn't know, if you're walking down the road and you see like a little black spot, it's not tar. That's bubble gun that's been sitting there for years.
Speaker 1 00:10:38 I had to clean sticky tack off the floors at work today cause people added on the floors and I don't understand why. Anyway, that has nothing to do with
Speaker 2 00:10:46 What we, I I don't, you know what, actually I'm gonna bring this back in.
Speaker 1 00:10:49 Oh boy. Full
Speaker 2 00:10:50 Circle. Full circle. Something that I can't do. Touch somebody else's chew bubble gum.
Speaker 1 00:10:56 I guess
Speaker 2 00:10:57 Like the underside of the table is a scary place for me. Like I get, I get like, I start to like hyperventilate just to think about putting my hands on the underside of tables. Cuz it's like you never know if there's gonna be gum under there and like, I can't even, I can't even force myself to do it. It's so gross to me. I find that to be the most disgusting thing.
Speaker 1 00:11:15 Well anyway, as if I was like, you know, trying to cut off your talking. You
Speaker 2 00:11:20 Are.
Speaker 1 00:11:21 But after we come back, we'll talk a little bit about some impressions that we can do. This came up. We were, we were talking like between, between some filming and I don't know how mine will go, but yours, yours pretty good. We'll be back.
Speaker 2 00:11:39 So for this segment, what we're gonna do is we're gonna share with you some of our really, really, really good impressions. And Brian's gonna start us off with our char with his, his character impression of Squidward from SpongeBob. Just in case you didn't know
Speaker 1 00:11:55 <laugh>, I thought maybe some people would know who Squid word was,
Speaker 2 00:11:59 But in case you didn't know, now, you know, squid word is from SpongeBob.
Speaker 1 00:12:03 This is gonna be me doing a squid word laugh. So Ha ha. Except my nose can't move. So <laugh>
Speaker 2 00:12:10 Just like get what? Photoshop on news right there. That just bounced up
Speaker 1 00:12:13 In there. <laugh>, what about you?
Speaker 3 00:12:17 I do a really good Batman impression.
Speaker 1 00:12:19 That is a really good, that's probably a better Batman than Christian.
Speaker 3 00:12:22 Swear to me. <laugh>.
Speaker 1 00:12:25 That's really good. That's probably a better Batman than Christian Bale actually doing the Batman voice.
Speaker 3 00:12:30 Where is she?
Speaker 1 00:12:33 Where is the trigger?
Speaker 2 00:12:35 I don't really know any of the lines that Batman says. Uh, other than the one that I met. It's, it's,
Speaker 1 00:12:39 Oh, I've got a good one, but first I wanna do this. It's not who I am, but what I do that defines me.
Speaker 2 00:12:45 You don't have as good of a Batman voice.
Speaker 1 00:12:47 Well, I, well, you know, I thought it'd be good though, <laugh>. Oh, I've got the best one. I've got it because I've done this before. It's Rocky Balboa playing Sam Wise Gaji Lord of the Rings <laugh>. I dunno if I can do <laugh> ao, you know what we fighting for? I just, I think, you know, there's, there's a lot of good in the world, you know, and, and it's worth fighting for, you know, what are the stories gonna say about us Fredo, you know? Yeah, I don't know. We, we gotta go distance throwing the ring, you know?
Speaker 2 00:13:25 That's good. I'm trying not to laugh since you keep doing it.
Speaker 1 00:13:29 <laugh> uh, you know, I'm just gonna start talking like this. But, you know, I helped ca I I may not be able to carry the ring, but you know, I can carry you, you know, I don't know <laugh>.
Speaker 2 00:13:41 Okay. So that is our really, really, really bad impressions of uh, a couple of movie characters.
Speaker 1 00:13:47 Also, I can do Kevin Owens who's a wrestler, but no one knows who Kevin Owens is. But I think it's a pretty good accent. If you knew who he was,
Speaker 2 00:13:54 Were you doing it just there? Cause I couldn't tell.
Speaker 1 00:13:56 Yeah, he just sounds like a nasally French Canadian.
Speaker 2 00:14:00 I just thought that was your normal
Speaker 1 00:14:01 Voice. No, this is what I sound like normally. This is what I sound like as Kevin Owens.
Speaker 2 00:14:05 Can you tell the difference?
Speaker 1 00:14:07 <laugh>?
Speaker 2 00:14:09 I can't tell the difference either. So we've learned today that Ryan has much higher expectations for his, uh, for his impersonations than he actually does
Speaker 1 00:14:19 You? I I thought that the Rocky Balboa ones was pretty good yet. Huh?
Speaker 2 00:14:23 It's not,
Speaker 3 00:14:24 It's not bad.
Speaker 1 00:14:26 Can we do a team up of Rocky and Batman?
Speaker 3 00:14:29 I don't think I'd wanna do
Speaker 2 00:14:30 That,
Speaker 1 00:14:30 But you know, we gotta go a distance now. We know we're not a bum.
Speaker 2 00:14:34 We also learned that he can't ride a bike, swim
Speaker 1 00:14:37 Or swim and that Ronnie doesn't know how to play fantasy football. Yeah. Or how to follow baseball. No, but you know, we can't all do everything, you know, I'd really like the Rocky Boys. So I'm gonna end the show using, using the Rocky Voice. Well, happy raps your party day, <laugh>. I don't remember what I was gonna say, so I'm just gonna end there with Rocky all. See you later guys. See you guys. She's snorkeling with novels, you know. Goodbye. I totally forgot that. If I could do a Rocky Bbo impression,
Speaker 0 00:15:12 <laugh>.
